In late February 2014, one of the West End’s biggest and most
prestigious theatres will welcome audiences to the new musical I Can’t Sing, based on ITV’s
tabloid-grabbing talent show The X Factor.
Written by Harry Hill and with music and lyrics by Steve Brown, I can say that the
majority of comments expressed on this new musical have been that of a
surprised and derogatory nature. But why? Is it that after the abysmal Viva Forever frequent theatregoers are sensing
a repeat embarrassment of a formulaic musical that feeds media-crazed fans? Or
could it be that the trash-o-meter is going off the scale just with the thought
of the circus frenzy that takes over our televisions for four months of the
year moving into esteemed theatreland?
One of the few things we know of I Can’t Sing is that it claims to go behind the scenes to reveal
the real antics of The X Factor
including the reason why Simon Cowell’s trousers are so high! So it seems to be
taking a satirical root. One issue with that idea is that satire is supposed to
be fairly current whereas The X Factor
has surely peaked by now and most of the people who watch it see it as a guilty
pleasure and are savvy to the fact that it is to be taken with a pinch (or
perhaps a handful) of salt and that whatever success that comes from it could
be down to money-throwing producers and delirious fans just as much as it’s got
to do with an act’s talent. Therefore, even if the title ‘I Can’t Sing’ evokes humour
through the format being about a lack of musical talent it still doesn’t
quite strike as truth-telling enough as it could be. Perhaps it should be
called You Know I Can’t Sing But This Isn’t
Really About Singing But Is Cheap Entertainment That Increases Ratings, but
I can’t imagine that it would catch on!
The other problem with a satirical take on The X Factor is that a question is being
raised over who is the real butt of the joke. With The X Factor logo stamped all over it and Simon Cowell’s production
company SyCo acting as co-producers, it makes you wonder how satirical I Can’t Sing can be. At the end of the
day, it doesn’t matter how many jokes there are about the height of Simon Cowell’s
trousers, because when those trousers have pockets stuffed with audience
members’ cash, it begs the question of who’s really laughing.
Surely I should be giving a show that hasn’t even started
previews yet a chance. A home-grown musical that brings with it the opportunity
to entice audience members that don’t often go to the theatre should be
welcomed and celebrated. However, if the format is as unoriginal and (dare I
say it) low art as some audiences thought Viva
Forever was then do we really want it? Are theatre box offices really
crying out for TV executives to flood the West End with cruddy, end of the
pier, sensationalised musicals? Or is the issue with recurrent theatregoers
such as myself? Maybe there is a pompous feeling that the theatre is a club separate
to the grubby, spectacular world of TV and that come February there will have
to be a sign outside the Palladium asking customers to wipe their feet on the
way in. I hope that’s not the case, but an interesting issue nonetheless.
At the moment, the saving grace to I Can’t Sing sounds like it could be Harry Hill. Despite being a
household name and having a hit primetime ITV show, his comedy has remained
successfully alternative. Therefore we can hope that by moving him from commercial
television to commercial theatre he won’t lose any of his likable edginess or
cheeky recklessness.
Director Sean Foley has had a hit in the past couple of years
with Graham Linehan’s The Ladykillers
but also a flop with the West End revival of Joe Orton’s What the Butler Saw last summer but I still suspect the production
is in safe hands with him. Overall, with Kate Prince’s choreography and Es
Devlin’s design and no doubt a dedicated cast and company, I Can’t Sing could well be a first class production but it would
have to be a huge hit with critics, X
Factor audiences and theatre fans for it to do extremely well in my eyes. To
conclude, we’ll have to wait until 2014 to see how well it is executed (and
there’s definitely a double meaning in that last word).
I Can’t Sing – The X Factor Musical starts preview from 27th February
2014 at the London Palladium and preview tickets are on sale now.
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